Better To Have Loved
by GrimmUlquigrrrl
Summary: Ulquiorra was aware that getting a neko would change nearly everything in his life; for the first time in his existence, he would have a companion. What he wasn't aware of was just the kind of whirlwind would walk through his door. So why is he not upset?
1. Chapter 1

Ulquiorra parked his car in his brother's driveway, looking up at the blue-painted house as he stepped out. He wouldn't admit to Nnoitra just how glad he was for this opportunity to fill his empty house, but he had a feeling the taller man knew already. After all, he was giving Ulquiorra first look at the kittens, even before he put them up for sale.

He opened the door after only one knock, something that was rather rare, and gave his wide, toothy grin. "Hey, bro. How'ya doin'?"

"Well enough, thank you," Ulquiorra said, passing the threshold into Nnoitra's casual family room. Over there, in the corner, was an area blocked off by plastic baby gates, unusual in the otherwise familiar atmosphere.

"Yep, that's them," Nnoitra said, noticing Ulquiorra's look. "Come on over. Remember they're a little too young to pick up just yet." Ulquiorra followed his brother over to the area his shoes sinking into the white carpet. He would admit he was surprised how clean the carpet- and everything else- was. He had never been to Nnoitra's house right after a litter had been born before, and while he knew that his brother went on a cleaning spree so the vulnerable youngsters wouldn't get sick he was amazed a at the work the normally lazy man put into it. It spoke volumes of the softer side of Nnoitra- not that Ulquiorra would allow himself to forget the way Nnoitra was most of the time.

Nnoitra crouched by the improvised enclosure, and Ulquiorra stood beside him. Hallibel, the mother, looked up at him calmly with eyes as green as his own. Ulquiorra had always liked Hallibel. "Hello, Ulquiorra-san," he greeted as a little kitten crawled over her lap.

"Hello Hallibel-san," Ulquiorra returned the greeting. "I trust you're doing well?"

"Well enough, yes," Hallibel replied,echoing Ulquiorra's earlier response to Nnoitra, her injured ear twitching as a fly flew by. Ulquiorra was never sure what had ripped her right ear, but then it didn't really matter. There was a yelp, and three pairs of eyes were drawn to two dueling kittens in the corner. "Mila Rose, Apache," Hallibel said with an aura of serene authority, and the kittens growled at each other one last time before the one with caramel skin like her mother's slipped off the other, who was paler and had mixmatched blue and yellow eyes. All of the kittens were now a month old, their hair already full, and their baby fat was disappearing at a rate unnatural for human children. They appeared like miniature toddlers, and even at this point Ulquiorra could tell that both girls would be quite beautiful. Still, they were too energetic for Ulquiorra's quiet life. He turned his eyes to the others.

There was a slim, pale kitten who had purple eyes and a far calmer disposition, but to Ulquiorra she appeared to be looking at Apache and Mila Rose down the bridge of her nose and Ulquiorra did not work well with condescending people. He was having to go upon just that, how well he would work with them, because outside of his family he had never before had a relationship that wasn't professional. That was why he was here.

The kitten in Hallibel's lap had shocking blue hair, but tit was clear that he had become used to perhaps a little too much coddling and Ulquiorra's independent ways did not bode well for that. A small female kitten caught Ulquiorra's eye and held it for a moment. She had green hair and calm honey-colored eyes, and Ulquiorra sensed that she had a similar demeanor to her mother. He knew that having a neko like that in his household would be, quite possibly, ideal.

He got the feeling of being looked at and turned his head. His eyes were met by small blue ones that looked up at him in interest from where a kitten sat almost patiently. He locked gazed with the young male immediately, noting his tan skin and bone structure that promised strength and rugged handsomeness to come. This one's hair was as electrically blue as his brother's, but his ears were as green as his sister's hair where they protruded from his skull in the same place as a human ear. The blue eyes, accented with green markings, held a quiet expectation of him, and the hinting of an intelligence yet to mature. Ulquiorra felt without a shade of doubt that this was his neko.

Nnoitra patted him on the back suddenly enough to surprise him, grinning and saying, "Aha! See, I told you you'd know which one you wanted." Hallibel, too, had her eyes locked on him.

"His name is Grimmjow," she said, "although as his owner you have the right to change his name."

"No," Ulquiorra stated, "I like his name." He found it somehow fitting, like a good shoe worn many times. Funny, never before had he gotten a feeling that a name was appropriate. To him a name was simply an undeniable fact, but in this case it felt like an identity. "When can I take him home?"

"It takes a year and a half for nekos to be ready to leave their mothers," Nnoitra informed him. A year and a half? It seemed a long time to wait, but Ulquiorra reminded himself to be patient. He had waited until he was twenty-six to attempt finding a companion, and he could wait until he was nearly twenty-eight to receive him. After all, he had found him, and that in itself was a victory.

"Very well," Ulquiorra nodded his understanding. "I appreciate your allowing me first choice." He had a feeling that if he had waited until after Nnoitra opened sales Grimmjow would have been one of the first gone.

"Anything for my lonely brother," Nnoitra teased cheekily, pinching Ulquiorra's pale face. Ah, and there went the gentility, flying out the window. Ulquiorra didn't know why his sibling could't be as well-behaved all the time as he was when tending to nekos. He said his goodbyes to Hallibel and headed out the door, inwardly very pleased with his choice.

He could feel that Grimmjow's eyes didn't leave his back until the door was closed.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a knock on Ulquiorra's door, and he looked up from his paperwork. "Come in," he called. Oddly enough, he wasn't nervous. Ichigo, a young redhead that Ulquiorra had taken on as a handyman and cook, opened the door. He always looked a little angry, but Ulquiorra's didn't mind. He breathed in his nose, setting his pen aside. "Is he here?"

"Yeah," Ichigo said, then turned to someone Ulquiorra couldn't see. "Come on in," he said, swinging the door farther open with his arm, and Ulquiorra sat up a little straighter. "Trust me, you don't want to keep him waiting."

"Don'y say such things, Ichigo," Ulquiorra said. "You'll give him the wrong impression of me." But honestly, that wasn't where his mind was at. He was focused on the foot tat was stepping into the threshold, on the camo-clad leg that followed, the bare torso, the whole body up for view. Grimmjow had matured greatly in such a short amount of time, as those of his kind did. He wasn't a child anymore; his shoulders were broad, his face was sculpted, his muscles were defined. He looked like an adult male- an adult male with very long hair that also happened to be blue. One green ear twitched on the side of his head.

"Please, come in," Ulquiorra said, and Grimmjow shuffled forward a little. He had the appearance of someone who was wary of a new place. Ichigo closed the door, giving them privacy, and Ulquiorra mentally congratulated the teen on the rare moment of decent sense. Not that his employee was an idiot, but he had the tendency of ruling with his intuition- which was less than sharp when it came to people.

"Er..." Grimmjow said, "ah, nice to meet you." Ulquiorra blinked. No, he supposed Grimmjow wouldn't remember him.

"Nice to see you again," the raven replied. "Although last time you were quite a bit...smaller." Actually, Ulquiorra almost mourned that Grimmjow was no longer an infant. He felt as if he had missed out on something, having not seen the transformation from teething little kitten to evidently strong adult. Grimmjow gave a little wry half-smile.

"Yeah," he said, "and a helluva lot more demanding."

"Is that so?" Ulquiorra asked, raising a brow. "I had the impression that you were rather mellow, or at least pretended to be when I was there." Grimmjow shrugged.

"Compared to some of my sisters, I was," he said. "Compared to me now, I was a little shit-tard. Uh, can I say that?" he asked quickly, suddenly aware of his language. Could it be he was trying to get off on the right foot?

"It's fine by me," Ulquiorra assured. "After all, I did grow up with Nnoitra." Grimmjow chuckled a little like he totally got it. "So, how about I show you around?" Grimmjow blinked his blue eyes at him like he was surprised, but quickly recovered.

"Yeah, sure," he said. Ulquiorra stood.

The house was simply laid out. The house itself was made of brick with vines crawling up it, and the street was to the left if viewed from above. The white door was nestled at the right corner of the house, and when one fist entered there was a half-wall to the left and a patch of white and green tile directly underfoot to protect the floor from mud. Directly ahead was the door to Ulquiorra's office, and on the wall to the right of it the entrance to the bathroom. Over the half-wall was the family room of sorts, with white carpeting and grey-blue walls. Ulquiorra had a white couch, the kind built to fit into corners, and a green armchair, both facing the TV on the wall. He had gotten the couch recently, realizing he would be needing more seating.

Around the corner was the kitchen, with more green and white tile and white countertops. It was separated from the family room only by a counter that jutted out from the wall for a few feet. Against the wall to the right was a dark mahogany table and matching chairs, one of which Ulquiorra had pulled out of storage and was still just a little dull despite all the elbow grease Ichigo had put into it. The staircase was next to the half-wall on the same side of the house as the door.

The upstairs was just as simple, with Ulquiorra's room directly across from the stairwell. The hallway curved right almost immediately, and on the right was Ulquiorra's library. It was twice as large as any other room on the floor, as it should have been. Next to Ulquiorra's room was the laundry room, although Ulquiorra hadn't the slightest idea why it was placed so oddly, and on the other side of that was Grimmjow's room. It had previously been a storage space, but Ulquiorra had cleared it out for Grimmjow. The hall ended with the bathroom, which Ulquiorra found seemed to be incredibly far away from his room whenever he needed it at night.

Grimmjow's reaction to his room was quite amusing. He had relaxed as Ulquiorra led him around and as they continued to speak to each other, and by the time they made it up the stairs his face had been completely unguarded. Ulquiorra opened the door and said simply, "This is your room." Four insignificant words, which it seemed to Ulquiorra Grimmjow should have been expecting, but when he said them Grimmjow's eyes went wide.

"Seriously?" he asked, staring into the sparsely furnished room like it was a king's palace. "I get a room?"

"Of course you do," Ulquiorra said. "You didn't think I was going to make you sleep on the couch, did you?"

"Well, kinda, yeah," Grimmjow replied, eyes searching his new space. "The only one who's allowed to sleep on a bed is my mom. Nnoitra thinks we'd tear it up or something, I dunno. So, can I, like...?"

"Of course," Ulquiorra said, "go on in." Grimmjow beamed with sudden pure, unbridled, wild energy, and beamed into the room. Ulquiorra's eyebrows shot up. With something that sounded an awful lot like a war cry, Grimmjow leapt into the air and landed on the bed. He pounced a couple of times, and Ulquiorra was astounded by the sheer childish glee he was emanating. It was a strange thing to see a full grown man, with a built chest and toned stomach, who looked ferocious and untamable, bouncing around on the bed and laughing like a two year old. Ulquiorra had to remind himself that Grimmjow wasn't even that old yet.

Grimmjow let out a little playful yowl as one of his bounces sent a pillow into the air and onto his head, batting it up with his forehead and swiping at it with his hand. Where on earth had that energy come from all of a sudden? It was as if Grimmjow had unleashed his inner child, and that child had a lot of pent up sugar yet to be metabolized. Perhaps Ulquiorra would have to ask Nnoitra if all nekos were so energetic at this age, not that it was any trouble. If anything, it was incredibly...cute. Grimmjow tumbled off the bed and landed with a thump, and Ulquiorra shook his head bemusedly.

"I have the sudden desire to get you a chew toy and see what you do with it," he commented. Grimmjow's head popped into view over the top of the mattress.

"Oh, shut up," he said with a smile that showed his pointed canines, "it ain't that funny."

"It _isn't_ that funny, Grimmjow," Ulquiorra corrected blandly. "I apologize for the lack of furniture, as well as the lack of color. I was tempted to pain, but I was unsure what your preferences might be."

"One: what, so you'll put up with cursing but not local color? Hypocrite. Two: don't apologize for stupid shit," Grimmjow said.

"One:" Ulquiorra said, "if you were unaware, the word hypocrite comes from the Greek hypokratia, meaning actor, and I promise you my acting skills are well under satisfactory. Two: you only have a bed and a dresser. Although the bed does seem to keep you duly entertained, you'll at least be needing a bedside table." Grimmjow cocked his head curiously.

"What for?" he asked.

"All sorts of things," Ulquiorra said. "A lamp, an alarm clock, if you're reading a book-"

"Woah woah woah, stop right there," Grimmjow said, crossing his arms in front of himself as if to ward off a terrible evil. "I don't _do_ alarm clocks. Lamps, sure, books, why not, but if I wake up some morning and you've set a fucking _alarm clock_ for me, somebody's gonna get castrated." Ulquiorra leaned against the door jamb.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said. "And tell Ichigo. I wouldn't put it beyond that boy to come barging in and rolling you off the bed to see if you're still asleep."

"Ichigo?" Grimmjow asked, standing up, "is that the spiky-haired kid who smells like inu?"

"Yes," Ulquiorra said, compartmentalizing the knowledge that Ichigo must have had a dog version of Grimmjow for further questioning later, " he's my handy man. He also does the cooking, so if you don't like the food don't complain to me."

"You have your own cook?" Grimmjow asked. "Fancy."

"Not particularly," Ulquiorra said. "I work long hours, and I don't like taking a break to go get food when I'm on a roll. There have been many a night when I failed to eat dinner on that account, or microwaved some TV dinner so I could eat fast. Having Ichigo cook for me keeps me from doing that."

"Oh, I get it," Grimmjow said, sitting cross-legged on the bed and bouncing lightly. Ulquiorra noticed for the first time the dark scar that ran the length of Grimmjow's unclothed chest. "So, what's you're job? I think Nnoitra told me at some point, but I forgot."

"I'm an illustrator," Ulquiorra said. "I've done graphic novels for a couple of people, and that's what I'm working on now, but mostly I just draw cover art."

"Cool," Grimmjow said. "Can I see some of your work sometime?"

"Sure," Ulquiorra agreed, glad that Grimmjow was interested in what he did. "I hope you don't mind, I can't give you that much attention."

"That's fine," Grimmjow shrugged, "I'm more of a loner anyway. 'Sides, I sleep the majority of the time anyway, so it's not like you'd be able to do a whole bunch with me anyway."

"I see," Ulquiorra said amiably. Well, that was fine by him. In all honesty, it was probably better that they both had their own lives to live. Ulquiorra wanted a companion to spend his quiet moments with, not a pet that would need him at every waking moment. "So, I'll leave you here to get accustomed and come get you when dinner's ready. If you need anything, feel free to ask either me or Ichigo."

"Thanks," Grimmjow said.

"Certainly." As Ulquiorra walked away, he swore he heard laughter as Grimmjow took the opportunity to get on his feet and jump on the bed full-out. Life was going to be interesting from here on out.

Especially if the bed fell through the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Grimmjow stretched himself out over his bed, partially to relax and partially to get his smell everywhere he could. Marking his territory, and such. He'd admit that he enjoyed having a room to himself, or at least he thought he would. He couldn't know but being the kind of person he was, he was almost certain of it; he figured ti would probably be strange for a few days to be away from his family and all, but he'd known all his life it was coming and Ulquiorra seemed like a nice guy.

Grimmjow had definitely been wary at first, as suspicion was in his nature. The smells in the house had made his nose twitch: tea was prominent, along with ink and ferns and a faint scent of wet soil, and another smell that was distinct and human. Grimmjow assumed that was Ulquiorra's and Ichigo's scents intermingling in the air. Then, of course, there was the slight, offending scent of inu. It had been strangely quiet, too, and the silence of the place had been alarming. It seemed...stagnant. Dead. And Grimmjow had heard Nnoitra talk about his brother so often that Grimmjow had formed the mental image of a taciturn, strict workaholic with no sense of humor or likeable qualities to be named. It was fair to say he hadn't been horribly thrilled- if it hadn't been for his mother telling him the better points of Ulquiorra's disposition, he would have outright refused to come.

Sitting here now though, he was glad he came. It was incredible how quickly his fears about his new owner were dismissed. Ulquiorra was really a pretty down-to-earth guy, and had a dry wit and humor that Grimmjow could appreciate. From the get-go his attitude had been casual and inobtrusively friendly with him, which was exactly the kind of demeanor that Grimmjow responded to. Ulquiorra had been immediately open to him, like he trusted him greatly, and for Grimmjow that was crucial. As Ulquiorra had shown him around and Grimmjow had become more accustomed to the atmosphere and Ulquiorra himself, he'd slowly calmed.

He got the immediate feeling that he and Ulquiorra would get along really well. And it was good to know that his lazy lifestyle wouldn't have to change. It seemed like the two of them would make a good pair.

There was a knock on the door, and Grimmjow sat up. "Dinner's ready, Grimmjow," Ulquiorra's deep tenor voice told him through the wood.

"Hmkay," Grimmjow said, heaving himself up, "I'm coming." Except he couldn't bear to get up and not stretch, so he dropped to his hands and rocked himself back not his feet like a housecat would do, stretching his back out. His ears lay flat against his head and he yawned a big yawn, his tail trying to stretch out but not able to. He kept it always wound around none of his legs inside his baggy camo pants; he had seen Ulquiorra once or twice look to see that it was gone, and his face had shown a hint of confusion. Grimmjow finished his stretch and popped up, then opened the door to see Ulquiorra still standing there.

"Come on," Ulquiorra said, stepping back to let Grimmjow out of the room. "Ichigo's made tortellini with heavy meat sauce. Does that appeal to you?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Grimmjow said, raising his arms and stretching some more. It did sound good- not delicious, but good, and probably better than what he was used to eating. "So, did you get much further in your whatever you're doing?"

"Not really," Ulquiorra said as they started towards the stairs. "That's the nature of the step I'm on, I'm afraid. I'm working on some cover art for a CD, and I'm doing it completely in colored pencil. I enjoy the medium, but full coverage can take a while."

"That's cool," Grimmjow said. "Can I see it when you're done?"

"Absolutely," Ulquiorra assented, and Grimmjow heard a deep satisfaction in his voice. He could understand why. He sensed that Ulquiorra was very proud of his work, and was glad that Grimmjow took an interest in it. Grimmjow really did think it was awesome what Ulquiorra did, and honestly it really piqued his interest what that mind could come up with. He'd only known Ulquiorra for a number of hours that could be counted on one hand, and had only spent all of thirty minutes actually in his presence, but already he felt that Ulquiorra had an intricate, working intelligence.

"So, what band is it for?" Grimmjow asked, following Ulquiorra down to the first floor.

"Johnny and the Test Tube Babies," Ulquiorra said. "They're a brand new group, and a little bit of a throwback. This is their first album, which puts a little pressure on me to make a really good CD cover that will catch people's eyes."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't worry about that," Grimmjow said. "I'm positive people will notice the cover whether you really try or not." Ulquiorra cocked an eyebrow, passing the couch.

"And how would you know if you've yet to see any of my work?" he asked, passing to the other side of the table to sit, and Grimmjow pulled out his own chair and followed suit.

"I'm a neko," he answered simply. "Nekos know all." Ulquiorra gave a little amused scoff, and Grimmjow smiled. He'd admit that he was happy he could amuse the other man. It was yet another sign that this could work out, and he was glad so many had popped up so soon. Ichigo came over and set down the tortellini, and Grimmjow's sensitive nose picked up on the _most_ delicious aromas. Like he'd said before, he wasn't super hot on pastas, but it smelled so good, and the meat sauce looked scrumptious. "Thanks, dude," Grimmjow said.

"Yes, thank you Ichigo," Ulquiorra echoed, nodding at the redheaded teen. Ichigo saluted lazily back and turned back to the kitchen. Not to be judgmental or anything- well, okay, Grimmjow was judging, but anyway, between Ichigo's scowl and the inu smell clinging to him he seemed sketchy. But he seemed to cook pretty damn well, and Ulquiorra kept him around, so Grimmjow figured he could eat the food.

He began to do so with gusto. But not before folding his napkin on his lap, because hell, these were the only pants he owned and spaghetti stains were tough little bastards. Ulquiorra looked at him oddly.

"What?" Grimmjow asked, swallowing the cheesy, meaty goodness.

"Nothing," Ulquiorra answered, "I just wasn't expecting such good manners." Grimmjow mock-glared at him.

"What, so you were expecting a messy, barbaric creature who stuffs food into its mouth and doesn't know its way around a table setting?" he asked. "Sorry, if that was what you wanted you should have gotten an inu."

"Hey!" Ichigo said indignantly from the kitchen where he was pouring the leftover tortellini in two tupperware containers, "Chad's a really neat eater, thanks much!"

"For a damn mutt, I'm sure," Grimmjow said cooly. "So, Ulquiorra, have you actually listened to the band's music?" Ichigo scowled at Grimmjow's obvious change of interest, and Grimmjow smirked a little. Victory.

"Yes, I have," Ulquiorra said, and Grimmjow got the feeling that Ulquiorra knew exactly what he had just done and was ignoring it. "They aren't particularly to my taste, but they're decent."

"Yeah?" Grimmjow asked, trying to look beyond the fact that his tail _hurt _from being trapped between his leg and the hard wood seat. "What kind of music is to your taste then?"

"I can't name any particular artists," Ulquiorra said, "but I like songs like Cemeteries of London by Coldplay and 24 by Jem. They're almost surreal-sounding, and their lyrics are meaningful."

"I've never heard of those," Grimmjow said. "Do you have a spare computer? I can YouTube them."

"Oh, sure," Ulquiorra said, blinking like he hadn't thought of sharing technology. "It's my work computer, but since I'm not digitalizing this it won't be a problem.

"Is it okay for me to use it, then?" Grimmjow asked. "Not like I go places that are chalk-full of viruses or anything, but I don't want to fuck anything up."

"I appreciate your concern," Ulquiorra said, "but everything that's on that computer is backed up. I have a drawer full of thumbdrives."

"You made that many copies?" Grimmjow asked. "Dude, you're paranoid."

"Only about my work," Ulquiorra replied. Grimmjow shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess that's fair," he said. "After all, I don't think I've ever spent as much time on anything as you must doing what you do."

"I doubt that," Ulquiorra said, popping some more tortellini in his mouth.

"I guess you're right," Grimmjow pondered, purposefully comical. "I sleep about that much."

"Now _that_ I _don't_ doubt," Ichigo quipped from the kitchen. Grimmjow snarled at him.

"So, what are you anticipating you'll spend your day doing?" Ulquiorra asked Grimmjow, quickly getting between the two.

"Probably not much," Grimmjow admitted. "Lazing around, mostly. Surf the internet sometimes. Sleep the rest of the time."

"You won't get bored?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Might," Grimmjow shrugged. "Eventually I'll probably get tired of quiet, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there."

"See you tomorrow, Mr. Schiffer," Ichigo said, taking one of the containers full of tortellini.

"Thank you, Ichigo, see you tomorrow," Ulquiorra said after him before turning back to his new housemate. "What kinds of things do you like to do?"

"Don't know," Grimmjow said. Ichigo shut the front door behind him, and Grimmjow was alone with Ulquiorra. He felt a little trepidation still. "Until now, I've always just tried to avoid the insanity my siblings are so good at making." Ulquiorra blinked.

"We'll find something you can be interested in," he said. "Grimmjow, I understand that this is a- a very big change for you." Grimmjow became more alert; Ulquiorra's shoulders suddenly tensed a little bit more and he was looking at the table instead of at Grimmjow, both sure signs of being unsure of his words or their impact. "You don't have your family around anymore, and this place is new, and you don't know me. Please know that this is a big change for me as well. I've always lived alone." Ulquiorra looked up and met Grimmjow's eyes. "It-this...arrangement, perhaps I should call it, will take me some time, but please be patient with me. I'm determined to get it right eventually."

There was a moment of total silence, where Ulquiorra was looking intently at Grimmjow and Grimmjow was looking back in Ulquiorra in surprise. Words like that...he hadn't expected them. He was grateful for them.

"Gotcha," he said after a moment. "Same goes for you." Ulquiorra's lips tilted upwards just a little, and Grimmjow could _feel_ the immediate friendliness they had just created.

Yeah, this was gonna work just fine.


End file.
